Currently, I’m not working on a project or actively taking a class and I’m not participating in #The100DayProject that just started again this year. And what that means is that without some direction, every day I get to wake up and ask myself, ‘what will I make today?’

I use the word “get to” intentionally. It’s something Jill Badonsky recommends as a way to reset inner dialogue. Because let’s face it: it is a privilege to create. A privilege for one who does not have to put all their resources into survival. And a privilege granted by our own Selves—those of us who prioritize and value our own creativity. 

So I get to create. And I do make it a priority in my life to create every day. And saying so reminds me of that.

Because otherwise? Not knowing what to make next scares the bejeezus out of me. Artist or not, it’s more than a little scary to not know what’s ahead.

Fear of the unknown is human. And it’s really easy (and common) to run away from that fear. Procrastination. Vast amounts of alcohol. Avoidance.  We humans have every imaginable coping strategy to navigate around this primal fear of the unknown (we’re very creative beings).

Facing that blank mind page every day is no different. I may get to create—but I am also choosing to stare into the abyss of what’s next. The Unknown. And it is SO easy to just choose not to create: ‘Nope, not going there today! I think I’ll do the laundry instead.’

That’s why beginning every day in my sketchbook with just one drawing of any one thing I see in front of my eyes is a most excellent strategy. It’s something to “know” to do so it keeps me from running away, and besides, drawing in my sketchbook is  just pure fun. In the image for this post, for example, I started the page by drawing my book stack—and then look what happened!

I’m super happy with my new sketchbook habit as a strategy and as a practice.

But here’s the thing: Then there’s the next morning. And the same damn question: what will I make today? 

And I’m kind of tired of that question and it’s not just fear of the unknown that trips me up. I also have other self talk about how I should have more direction and more focus, that I should produce certain kinds of art. My art should be about something, overall.

I don’t have answers right now (what DO I make?). Although I know enough about life to know I shouldn’t  “should” myself. I could take a class, join a challenge or give myself another project—and I will again for a lot of other reasons—but my gut tells me to sit with the discomfort a while longer.

Because—you guessed it:

***

Anyone else know what I’m talking about? Let me know in the comments what you’re doing to answer the question, “what do I make today?”