Fill your internal reserves

Hello! Welcome to the next edition of my weekly habit of sharing.

I took off a few weeks from posting on Instagram. I still spent time in my art studio every day, committed as I am to a daily art practice, but I think like everyone else I’ve been overwhelmed by the world and filled with all the emotions that come up when living through a crisis (or three or ten!).

I’ve shared some of that here in my weekly e-newsletter.

Let’s count them…1) Spreading global pandemic…2) Imminent climate catastrophe…3) Intolerable systemic racism, 4) Corruption and deceit at all levels of power, 5) Upcoming U.S. election…...and the list unfortunately does go on.

Sometimes I wonder what I’m doing, drawing pictures.

But here’s what I know better:

“This is precisely the time when artists go to work. There is no time for despair, no place for self-pity, no need for silence, no room for fear. We speak, we write, we do language. That is how civilizations heal. I know the world is bruised and bleeding, and though it is important not to ignore its pain, it is also critical to refuse to succumb to its a malevolence…” Toni Morrison

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As citizens and humans we are called to attend to both our external and internal worlds. One is not exclusive of the other. We can and should use our gifts and our voices to work for a better world. Even when we’re 99 years old (you’ll love this one!)

But none of us can do that if we don’t also attend to our internal selves. I created this piece with that thought in mind:

In these times especially, anxiety and fear can quickly take over. They trick us into believing we are in survival mode—that personal crisis is upon us, when actually in that moment no such event is happening.

Without internal reserves, something to hold onto internally, we can get swept away into believing otherwise.

Your oxygen mask is left dangling and you can’t help yourself or the person next to you either.

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There are so many reasons why I am committed to a daily art practice, but maybe the first is to drop into the present moment. Here I tumble and toss ideas around (one of my favorite activities) and I learn and grow. It’s where I come alive.

This is no trivial matter.

 Whatever it is that you do that makes you come alive—do that. It’s what fills your internal reserves for when you need it in the world.

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Another thing.

Each time I set out to create something new, I have to put my Self into the unknown. Which if you think about it is exactly where we find ourselves in Life. It’s all unknown.

In front of the blank page uncertainty can gobble me up (What if I’m going the wrong way? What if there’s nothing here? What if...I. Can’t. Do. It. ?). But I do it anyway. Day after day.

My art practice is a practice mostly of facing fear, to be honest. I have to learn and re-learn how to disarm. To lower my defenses (because I forget).

Put down fear and self judgement.

Pick up curiosity.

Trust that I’ll create something pleasing—or learn something.

And I do learn all kinds of things about artmaking. I’m growing my skills, improving what I know about drawing and what I can do. I love that.

But also? I’m learning how to face the unknown.

And if there’s anything we can all learn right now living with so much that is unknown, it’s that.

So. What is your commitment to yourself? What can you do in your life that makes you regularly happy and fulfilled, that fills your inner reserves, even as you face the unknown?

One thing I can report is that the more you do for your Self, the more you’ll have for others and the world.

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And now here are some excellent links this week:

How and when can the coronavirus vaccine become a reality? This report from interviewing scientists examines how close they actually are (even though it will take much more time).

Why e-mobility must be at the heart of the green recovery Why can’t governments worldwide just DO this? How can we make it so?

The secular sacred This is such a beautiful way of explaining our deep connection with nature.

The danger of single stories - racism lies in our stories

40% of black owned businesses not expected to survive - indirect (or direct?) consequences of the pandemic

It’s time for specific and local change:

Redlining was banned 50 years ago. It’s still hurting minorities today.

17 Resources to learn about gentrification, racial injustice in the bay area

Peace and joy until next week—

Denise

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